"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed....To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesing itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty which our dull facilities can comprehend only in the most primitive forms--his knowledge, this feeling, is at the center of true religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I belong to the ranks of the devoutly religious men.
Albert Einstein "What I Believe" (1930)
To experience beauty requires an empty mind as this is a true mystery. A mind empty of all thoughts, influences, and society. Staring at this wall I see myself taking steps out in the world of the unknown, arming myself with courage, sacrifice, and faith. After reading this I have thought a lot about how I feel when I'm truly present, asking myself how can I do this, be present and still function in the world we live in. By taking myself out of it mentally...unplugged!
Einstein was alive, I feel alive when I'm doing what I'm doing "wondering and rapt in awe" this touched me this morning as many things do throughout my days. Picture of Einstein and the quote - a icon of intellect, a bicycle with a hitched trailer, and a photo of crossroads. I have to wonder how I got to be where I am and, does everything happen for a reason, they must even the bad times. As I journey through this path I am on things trigger thoughts, memories, and experiences that are truly memorable yet unexplainable. Making the realization that three photos can represent the present state of my life.
1. I'm surrounded by beauty everyday - it just takes a little effort to realize!
2. My journey is taken by this photo in the left corner of the photo above, something I truly love - that of traveling by bicycle.
3. The crossroads - where is my path leading - only God knows this and if I continue to be guided great things will continue to feel my heart and soul!!!
As I rest and recover from all the riding my mind has filled with millions of thoughts this morning keepin me from the present - I always had my toughest days when training for Ironman when I wasn't training, "idle mind is the devils playground", however I choose not to play on this playground as I know there is a better playground out there! Einstein knew this 80 years ago that through religousness wonderful things can be created - as a hisorical figure I look up too for all his great inventions and theory's this quote touches me deeply today as its only through my faith that the true potential God has for me can be brought to the surface for the world to share....
The last picture is that of the crossroads - where do I go - North, South, East, West or stay put? The answer - let God lead and see what blessings you stumble upon. I journal a lot and this morning I notice a document on my computer so I looked it over and this to me reminded me of the crossroads when I look at this photo - the journal entry is as follows: (this is raw from Florida)
"So where is the next stop on this journey in life? I’m at a complex where I have a lease and I’m about to walk away from it because I lost my job and have no means of taking care of my financial responsibilities. Again I find myself in a state of uncertainty! I have met some friends here who are nice however how good of friends are they? I have friends all over the country but which ones do you choose? Do you choose to form new friends or move on and see what’s around the corner, maybe I am just made to roam. Do I fit in here, where do I fit in? Am I tired of roaming the country looking for work? Am I made to work for one person or a corporation, maybe that one person is me?
I have to ask God what do you have in store? I know your listening because I feel more at peace and I’m able to block out all the bad that may appear going on around me, I have the ability to count my blessings and I trust in you to direct me to my next destination. Am I there? Will I ever get there?
What are the lessons that are supposed to learn while down here in Tampa? Was I supposed to learn about Greed and how money has nothing to do with anything? However it stops me from doing a lot, is this all written in the plan you have for me? What’s next then, just a small glimpse into the unknown would be nice, is it security you seek for me, is it a life of roaming around the country just meeting new people and sharing my love of life! The people down here seem so rigid, just work and television and bars. The social scene down here appears to be all about hanging out and drinking and doing other extra-curricular activities. Should I plan or just go with the flow? Am I suitable for a partner in this journey in life? As the fowl travel the skies in pairs why is it that I travel alone? Am I just another product of society? The more I read the more I question everything, the one thing I am starting to believe more and more is that I don’t need anyone for happiness but you! What does that mean, again I ask am I just supposed to be a loner on the planet always taking the hard path?
So I would like to know, why Tampa? Was it for the lessons learned at the job? Was it to meet new people or even that special someone? Was it to see another part of the country? Lots of questions, I have learned a lot on this trip, however is it time to return to home? Where is home exactly though? Is it where I am currently?
I enjoy so many things, what is it that I am supposed to do for a living, to earn enough money to put a roof over my head and feed me? I am currently out of food at the house for American standards, I think I have enough food to last a couple more days before I’m eating raw sugar and flour. Was the plan to take me to my limits of what all par-take in here in America? Then what, what do you have next for me Lord? I’m in a position for change. Well the only constant is universal change, correct? Some may agree however the more I think about it, what about God’s love?
Please God answer my questions why, or what I am to do? I’m in a position to move or stay? Do I go or stay? Is life supposed to be simple or complex? Have a put a wall to others, keep the potential one out? Is there one out there for me that I’m supposed to coexist with? Lots of questions today…
One thought in my head that has been running wild in my mind for sometime is “Always the after-thought, never the one thought after!” Is this just a thought of loneliness? Does your past truly mold you into who you are to be in life or is it constant from the day you were born, a road map of what you will experience, can this be altered? Are there alternate endings depending on what path you choose? If I go left, wait, what if I go right then what?
Being unemployed does give me a feeling of helplessness. Subjected to others views of how you look on paper, most companies don’t even call to get to know me, however many have told me that getting to know me is hard at first but once in, they can tell I’m a good person. Maybe silence is the resolution?
What an interesting situation I have fallen into!"
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